I was thinking about themed lists today, and categorization, and how sometimes in a bid for relatability or a pithy tag-line, we lose so much of what makes a piece of media interesting. I was thinking especially about the Tiktok trend of grouping books as being for Unhinged Women or Sad Girls or That Girl. I can’t quite wrap my head around it, how books with a myriad of meanings and allegories, books that represent so much, can be watered down to their basest levels. Convenience Store Woman or Earthlings by Sayaka Murata being lumped in as books about female rage, Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn being diluted into a Girl Boss™ moment…
(Plus, there’s something to say about how female rage and by extension the trend of Unhinged Women™ has become this sort of empty phrase meant to laud the violence enacted by white women. It’s nothing, it’s air, it’s Taylor Swift and Barbie and mass-market feminism. It’s plantation mistresses blasting guns and brandishing knives at swarms of men of color—looking at you Peppermint— it’s just! It does nothing to me or for me, and I know it’s not meant to, because I’m standing totally on the outside of it as a Black lesbian, but even so! From the outside looking in, it’s boring. Do better!)
Anyways, all that to say…I have a themed list. I have these lists on Letterboxd that I do that I think are super fun, and I try to remain thoughtful and intentional about the additions I make to these lists, and I hope that sort of mitigates the silly aspect of this. I’ve been trying to think of a smooth way to bring them over, and I think the ‘Critiquing the Thing While Also Doing the Thing in a Different Way’ method is probably the most Yah Yah Fluoresensitive way to go about it. I tried to only recommend books I’ve read recently (as in, in the past two years) so I wouldn’t just lump in things I kinda remember matching the theme. Still, we move and we make our silly little lists and we hope that it coheres. Please God, let the stupid little list cohere.
I DIDN’T GET IT BUT BY GOD DO I WANT TO
(or books I want to reread because when I first read them I wasn’t smart enough to understand what the author was trying to do, or I was being too reactive and a little prudish to appreciate what was being done)
Because we’re not always at our best when we read books, right? And we don’t always take a novel in the spirit in which it’s meant to be taken. I had a different themed list planned, a really good one for one of my favorite themes in novels which is complex relationships between mothers and children, but as I was going back through my last five years of book reviews, I found myself super disappointed and annoyed at myself. Who was this person in 2019, 2020, even up to 2022 who was so jerky and weird about the books they read? What was I trying to prove? Who was I showing off to?
Anyways, these are some books I didn’t read well the first time that I’d like to give another shot. Do you have any books that you’ve read in the past that you know you need to give another try?
(There are some simply that were my Glasses Off Night Time reads, and I’ll just put those in italics. Those weren’t given a fair shot at all, and I need to read them Glasses On Full Attention.)
THEIR EYES WERE WATCHING GOD BY ZORA NEALE HURSTON
In The Sense That… I was sixteen or seventeen the last time I read this book, and I know I’m not nearly as patient reading then as I am now. Even though I rated it five stars and I’m sure it’ll keep it’s five star rating, I want to come at it again as an adult whose been through some things.
NEVER LET ME GO BY KAZUO ISHIGURO
In The Sense That… Another one that I read pre-21. I remember being confused by the science fiction label, and maybe thinking less of it because of that, but knowing what I know now, I think I’ll be able to come at it with more grace. Plus, I want to see if it’s as heart-wrenching as I remember it being.
THE NEW ME BY HALLE BUTLER
SWEET DAYS OF DISCIPLINE BY FLEUR JAEGGY
THINGS FALL APART BY CHINUA ACHEBE
In The Sense That… I wasn’t fair at all when I read it. I was looking at it purely then modern eyes, and I wasn’t trying to give it anything. I didn’t read it in school, so I don’t have any of those Forced To Read It In English memories attached, but I was certainly acting like I was when I was reading the book. Looking forward to giving it another shot!
RING BY KOJI SUZUKI
In The Sense That… Wasn’t giving it a fair shot. I read back my review, and I was like, ‘Yeah, babes, it’s gonna be gross and hard to read at times, it’s a horror about an abused child’. So silly! Anyways, I’ll be nicer next time I read it!
THE BOOK COLLECTOR BY ALICE THOMPSON
HER BODY AND OTHER PARTIES BY CARMEN MARIA MACHADO
In The Sense That… I was being snooty about the prose, and while yes, some of it may have been a little too purple for me at the time, it doesn’t mean the entire collection was wack. Also, I feel like I’m the one person on the face of the earth who doesn’t really care for The Husband Stitch and I think me thinking it’s overrated sort of tainted the rest of the collection for me. Well!
JAZZ BY TONI MORRISON
In The Sense That… Simply because it was really good and I didn’t take decent notes, and I know for certain there were parts of it and nuances to it that slipped off my brain.
BLACK LEOPARD, RED WOLF BY MARLON JAMES
In The Sense That… Another book I wasn’t fair about and came at really nasty and reactive. As a victim of assault, I think I tend to flinch from things that show rape and violence thinking it’ll all be hypersexualized. And while, true, we live in a culture where rape isn’t taken seriously and is often played as sexy, that wasn’t the case with this book, and I want to step back and try it again. Forgive me, Mr. James, I was being very very 21 about this.
THE HOLE BY PYUN HYE-YOUNG
AUDITION BY RYU MURAKAMI
In The Sense That… Though my original review (“I can forgive abusing women, but I draw the line at animal cruelty”) was funny as hell, I could try taking this book a little more seriously.
THE SYMPATHIZER BY VIET THANH NYUGEN
In The Sense That… Another case of Me Not Being Smart Enough, and not engaging with it totally. Was reading just to read, and probably missed half the interesting things that happened.
PONTI BY SHARLENE TEO
In The Sense That… I had my glasses fully on and this book still slipped over my head. I think I was reading for the sake of building numbers so I could say ‘omg look how many books I read’, so both Ponti and Pew didn’t get my full attention. Sorry!
PEW BY CATHERINE LACEY
THE MAN WHO LIVED UNDERGROUND BY RICHARD WRIGHT
In The Sense That…I was impatient, and wanted to read something else more than this, and because of it, I went through it too fast. No good!
SUCH SMALL HANDS BY ANDRES BARBA
GEEK LOVE BY KATHERINE DUNN
In The Sense That… I wrote it off as ableist and mean-spirited, and even if I reread it and find that I’m right, I think I was way too tightly wound to fully appreciate what Dunn was trying to do. That was, say it with me kids, not fair.
PIRANESI BY SUSANNA CLARKE
In The Sense That… Another rush job, plus I didn’t quite understand the prose plus I thought it was lame until the last few pages so I didn’t really give it everything that it needed. Let’s hope three years has made me way more patient than I’ve been in the past.
RABBITS FOR FOOD BY BINNIE KIRSHENBAUM
THE COPENHAGEN TRILOGY BY TOVE DITLEVSEN
In The Sense That… My review for it said it was much too self-centered. Yah Yah. Babe. It’s literally a memoir. Yeah, I’m trying again, glasses on and reading journal out. Don’t judge me, we all fall short of using our brain cells.
THE SCHOOL FOR GOOD MOTHERS BY JESSAMINE CHAN
In The Sense That… I was way too dismissive and I did that dumb thing I try not to do any more where I think Character=Author…And while there is such thing as author’s intention, I think I was much too brash and jerky about this one. Sorry! I’m trying it again!
DETRANSITION, BABY BY TORREY PETERS
In The Sense That… Copy paste of what I said before, even though I think I’m still right about Detransition, Baby being one of those uber annoying Books For White Women. I can read it again and see if I was being uncharitable though!
There are definitely movies that I need to watch again because I was not in the right headspace.
The Blackcoat's Daughter
I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House
Prometheus
Nope